Sometimes I feel like people in the online community/social media world can paint a pretty picture of what their life is like. And I don’t blame them. It’s easier to talk about the good and easy times. And while I don’t want to completely air out my dirty laundry, because I don’t think that would be entirely appropriate, I do want to share more often about the tougher times.
So that being said, this week has definitely been harder than the first two weeks. I’ve felt pretty discouraged about my recovery taking so long, additional discomfort from having a tooth pulled, and a new pain from nursing. Oddly enough, I felt so much better after Micah’s c-section delivery than Ethan’s VBAC. I know that’s not necessarily typical and what everyone experiences, but I was definitely wishing for the easier recovery I experienced with the C-Section and wondered why anyone ever did it the other way.
While I wasn’t in a lot of pain from the tooth being pulled, I was already tired of the pain from childbirth and so the nuisance of this tooth was unwanted. I was tired of having to chew my food on one side of my mouth (leading up to getting it pulled and then afterwards, when I finally could eat food). Side note – man was I hungry the day it was pulled and couldn’t chew food! Nursing mom hunger ain’t no joke!
Ethan ending up getting thrush towards the end of last week, which made nursing VERY painful. It took a few days to figure out that’s what was going on and get him on an antibiotic. It’s not a very convenient antibiotic, I have to rub it all over the inside of his mouth before he nurses, which isn’t very easy and my fingers get all sticky.
Through these struggles this week, I have really struggled with a complaining and ungrateful spirit (hmmm, I wonder where Micah gets it from?!) There have been moments of desperation, and wanting to give up, particularly with nursing (it really was NO fun, several times a day for a few days). I’m thankful my worst day was Saturday last week, while Jerry was home. He was so faithful to encourage me, keep Micah distracted, and pray for me. I’m thankful for friends and family who were faithful to pray for me when I let them know what was going on. It wasn’t easy being open about my weaknesses, but I knew I needed to be.
Now, at the end of week three, I’m starting to feel close to normal. Still not completely healed, but getting closer every day. Tooth is healed. Antibiotic is working. I’m thankful for doctors who know more than I do and know that I shouldn’t ignore Ethan’s thrush otherwise we’ll continue to pass it back and forth to one another. I’m thankful for friends and family who pray for me and love me, even at my lows. I’m thankful for reminders that life, my life is not in my control, but in God’s and I need to entrust mine to Him.
I’m thankful that on days when Micah only gets a twenty minute nap because of road construction and downed power lines we can hunker down, eat snacks, drink yummy drinks, watch TV and eat a meal that’s been provided for us.
I’m thankful for Jerry who loves me for better or worse, in sickness and in health, and on my birthday drives out in the cold to get me ice cream from my favorite place 🙂
I’m thankful for my two little boys and pray that they will be the best of friends.