pity party, table for one.


wow. it sure is easy to feel sorry for yourself in the last few weeks of pregnancy. yeah, i’m uncomfortable. there’s the heartburn, the braxton hicks, the back pain, the peeing every thirty minutes, the lack of sleep, the kickboxing from the inside-out… and on and on.

it’s not only god’s kindness to us women to help us forget how difficult labor is, but also to forget how difficult the end of pregnancy is.

but i’ve definitely gotten in a self-absorbed rut this week. feeling sorry for myself and the discomfort i’m in. and kind of making sure my family knows how uncomfortable i am, and basically serve me.

i read something recently that said waiting for the baby to come on god’s perfect timing is one of our first sacrifices of motherhood. it’s so true. motherhood is filled with sacrifices. and i’ve been expecting my kids to age beyond their years and see how i’m feeling and behave perfectly. (not that i don’t think god doesn’t give our kids that extra measure of grace when us tired mama’s need it.)

so after taking a little rest with micah, hearing god speak conviction into my sinful attitude and repented, i brushed my teeth, put on some mascara (two things that make me feel at least a little put together) and am praying for a better afternoon.

because really, this baby does have to come out at some point. they won’t be in there forever. and, as anxious as i am to get over this “phase”, i’m also not entirely ready for the next. and don’t get me wrong, we’re still going to have the baked lemon butter tilapia instead of fish tacos because that’s a heck of a lot easier and i think the kids probably would turn their noses at the tacos.

weekend links

Don’t get me wrong. I am all Buzz in this picture. PSL’s, cooler weather, sweaters, the smells of fall, soups… BRING IT ON! It’s supposed to be back in the 80’s/90’s next week, so I don’t feel bad for enjoying it this weekend. Have a great Labor Day weekend!

I’m a Michael Fassbender fan, so this movie intrigues me. I should probably wait till it comes out on Redbox though, and hope that most of the postpartum hormones have died down so I don’t dissolve into a blubbery mess.

My poppop was recently diagnosed with early stage alzheimer’s, so trials like this bring me both hope and worry. I don’t know if he’d ever get the chance to try the drug, but just thinking about others. I’m thankful for the ability to make new discoveries (within reason…) in medicine, but they come with a risk. Some of these side effects are scary and real. But thankfully it seems they were on top of it and no one (yet) has suffered permanent, devastating effects. But that’s just it, it’s still new, so who knows what the long term effects of being on this drug can be. This whole issue, (being on prescription drugs for a long time) is really difficult for me. So many positives and negatives!

Jerry and I celebrated seven years of marriage back in May. And up until this year, he never even showed an ounce of interest in (college and professional) basketball. But this year, he got into it. Football, I can handle and show some interest in. But basketball? It’s probably one of my least favorite sports to watch. (I mean real sports; golf doesn’t count; it’s not a sport.) I’d watch baseball before basketball. Anyway, I can at least appreciate this guy’s dunking abilities.

CONFIRMED: Planned Parenthood Killed Young, Black Woman in Botched Legal Abortion. This is beyond tragic.

Free kids meals on Sundays. Don’t worry, Chipotle, I’ll still give you my business!

A Mary Poppins sequel?! We’ll see…

Every American Should Read QB Russell Wilson’s Reasons for Not Joining in Kaepernick’s Flag Protest

life lately/where they are now

c1836c38d0509f08fb289c31e6e1ce6bEthan – 22 months::
I’ll say it again. It’s a good thing another baby is coming, because this little guy is no longer my baby. It amazes me how much difference having an older brother makes. He is talking up a storm, climbing on everything and is generally convinced that anything Micah can do, he can do too. I love his spunky little personality, even if it sometimes comes out in a tantrum. The boys are really playing together now. It’s not always without its trials, but when they get along, it is so joyful to watch. I love the little games they’ve created with one another.

6d692bfed599f0231a16e3615f770cc6Micah – 46 months (also known as 2 months shy of 4):
Such a tender hearted soul. Convinced on some days that he doesn’t need a nap still, but as soon as we get in the van to go anywhere, he’ll fall asleep. He’s not starting preschool this year, because he’s still two years off from starting kindergarten. (Stupid fall birthdays. Three now!) He asks about going to school all the time, but I don’t think he really understands what it would mean. His understanding of school is playgrounds that can’t be played on unless you go to school there, and whatever his friend who’s in preschool tells him. I can’t wait for him to be a big brother again. He asks all the time if the baby is coming, and talks about how he’s going to help out and hold the baby and rock him/her and sing to them. It’s going to be so different having a child who is actually old enough to get (to some extent) what is going on, and be of some help! Also, Jerry made Micah (for now, eventually Ethan will move to the bottom when he’s older) a bunk bed, and Ethan has moved into his room to make room for baby. They love it. And I love (and hate because it’s usually 6:30-7) hearing them in the morning talk and laugh with one another when they first wake up.

He’s been working the summer away with house projects. Like I said above, he made a bunk bed for the boys. He’s completed all but three of the windows (although he’s not going to tackle the bathroom window until we remodel in there), and is hopefully going to get them done before the winter. These last two are the most complicated because we (read HE) have to replace the siding too when he does it. Thankfully a friend has offered to help him. I’m so amazed by his dedication to do these projects, and do them well. And if life isn’t crazy enough with a hormonal, pregnant wife, two kids, almost three, house projects, work and more, he’s been getting up even earlier to exercise. I don’t know how he does it all!

Me – approaching 30 this November (gasp!):
I’ve finished up babysitting on Mondays, and so our weeks seem a little less busy. Just in time for those weekly doctor appointments to start. We’re less than three weeks away from the due date, and while it seems really close, it also seems far away. It’s funny. At this point with the boys’ pregnancies, I was scrambling to get things done. Now, I’m like, I’ve got time! I think part of that is just understanding what will get done, will get done, and not caring about as many things being prepared. But then I also think, I have less energy and time and so I should capitalize on what time I do have! At this point, I had like 17 freezer meals prepared with Micah’s pregnancy. With Ethan, I lowered my expectations a little and had something like 10 freezer meals. This time? I’m like, let’s hit up Sam’s Club! Those expectations really dropped this time haha. We’re hoping to go to Hazleton over the holiday weekend for one last trip before baby comes. (Which reminds me I need to call our insurance today.) I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and will talk with her to see if she thinks it’s a good idea. I’m guessing she has to say no, so the more determining factor will be if I’ve progressed at all since last week. I have braxton hicks every day, so that’s not really a good marker for whether or not we should go. Either way, the baby carseat is going in the van just in case. Friends are going to watch the boys when it’s baby time and we’re going to have my mom wait to come out for her week of being the biggest helper ever till Jerry goes back to work. I know the boys will do fine, but that’s probably the part I’m most nervous about. I’m not good at being flexible with plans, and so to not know exactly how that time is going to look (like how will they get the boys, when will we get them back, making sure they have everything they need) stresses me out more than labor itself. So if you want to pray for me about something, that would be it! I know the boys will just go with the flow and that I really have nothing to worry about. They will be in good hands. And I’m so thankful to have good friends we can rely on, when we don’t have family close by. It’s such a blessing. I am not sure how people go through these big life changes without a church community. God is so wise in creating community like this!